Finding the Light In-sight
for finding light in any darkness
The Story
Yes, I am one of “those” (obsessive dog moms). Unexpectedly, I am now as much of a small dog person as I am a big dog person. One of my two chihuahuas, Aurelia, has truly helped me find my light. She is the visual for this in-sight.
Aurelia had a rough beginning. I adopted her from a rescue that said, when they got her, she was very nearly untouchable. At two years old, she was rescued from a hoarder-breeder where she had been kept locked in a small cage. Her only contact with humans was imaginably negative, instilling in her a great fear of humans and hands, along with being very selective to trust, even more so than a typical small dog. Her foster family brought her quite far in the few months leading to us finding one another. But our beginnings were challenging. She wanted to trust, you could see it and feel it; but she was programmed not to. Her self-defense override was understandable, so we went gently, slowly, and did not push.
Thankfully, we had a connection. When we met, she made the first move, which is why we ended up together in the first place. I learned that getting to know her would need to be on her terms and in her own time. The reward has been greater than I could have ever even imagined. She is my button, my light, my sweet Aurelia. When she does give of herself and does trust, she gives her all, and makes you feel like the most important being on the planet. Of course, she is a chihuahua and very opinionated. Thus, there are many times I call and she eventually decides to come...to a place just out of reach. Or she has to be in my lap at the very moment I collect my scattered papers and start to type...on my laptop, also in my lap. Then, I put my stuff down to give her attention, only to have her decide to jump back down and tuck up under the heating vent across the room.
But she deserves to have it be her choice. We all do. She finds her light. And as long as it's not her going for a joy run after slipping under the dog park fence (another fun story), I'm okay with that.
The In-sight
And here is where little glorious Aurelia gives us the best visual ever. She actually finds her light, in what she does, how she lives, and quite literally, whenever the sun shines in the house, through the trees, in the car, on the beach, at the park. I have a thousand pictures of her just finding light. Because she does. She finds it. She basks in the warmth. She becomes the light. She is my light, that's for sure. But, regardless of me, she is her own ball of light who, getting through darkness, found it again. Through trusting, making friends, healing, loving, she now shines brighter than ever.
And so will you. Raylibear says so. And requests a treat or two. Thanks.
Variations, Tips, and Possibilities
Another variation of this in-sight could also be an in-sight all its own (and maybe it will be). I call it Shafts of Light. In dark times, I often think of hiking through some of my favorite forests. Deep, dark caverns of greens and browns, seeming ominous, especially in cloudy weather, pre-dawn, or twilight. But then, there they are, shafts of light. The first sunrise, the sun through the clouds, or the last sunset. So warm. I use that word to describe the color, because orange, yellow, gold doesn’t quite cut it. They glow. They fill the little holes inside of me. They remind me that there are shafts of light, ready to shine in, hopefully helping the light to shine out. But, for now, I just take it in. I allow. And feel.
When I was a National Park Service park guide in Philadelphia, at the Liberty Bell and Independence Hall, I commuted in from South Jersey every day via light rail train. After exiting the underground train station, I would walk a few blocks across Independence Square to the Second Bank where I would change into my uniform every day. On particularly chilly winter mornings, it was an especially grueling single digit trek. But on these mornings, I would sometimes emerge from the underground to the most welcome and most indescribable light from the morning sun shining straight at me. I would bask as I walked into it, trying to soak it in. Amidst my messy divorce, I felt clarity. Post-divorce, I felt renewal. In new crazy relationships, I felt calm. I would, for at least that very moment, find my light. And YOU will find yours.