Always return to who you are. Even if it hurts.

The problem is, some of us lose sight of it without even realizing it. We think we're seeking it, finding it, but, in essence, we're actually denying It or at least parts of it because those parts of ourselves are what got us into trouble in the first place.

But as we all hopefully do at some point, facepalm, and aha, we realize what was missing.

I was missing. 

The new me forgot to invite the old me to the party. Actually, I think it was an intentional slight. Although the new me's quiet friend was secretly trying to find the old me and invite her without the new me knowing. But I don't feel tricked. I feel righted. Maybe that's what I've been struggling to find without knowing it all along. And then mesh the two, the three, the however many together. There's probably a dozen. 

But in this case, the old was the missing puzzle piece that had been forgotten or lost or intentionally left out by some dark recess of my mind. I'm still here, though. And it's okay to be me. It's okay to have loved and lost. It's okay to still have loves, to still want things, enjoy things. It's okay to want to be in touch, to want to connect, to feel.

That tap was turned off. Or way down But in siphoning out all the hard stuff, the good stuff was being left behind as well. I feel myself feeling again, in a bigger better way. Not so hardened, careful, desperate. Maybe that's what I meant by letting go. I am susceptible to more...but I am also susceptible to more.