How to Achieve Your Dreams Without Losing Yourself

One thing I have noticed about following my dreams is the ever-mounting possibility that I might lose myself in them. Some people say, yes, of course lose yourself in your dreams. Become them. But in my case, there are just so many. And in any case, there is a point at which the dream could take over and run us, not the other way around. Dreams all involve A LOT of work, self-sacrifice, devotion, time, and effort. They also involve leaving out or pushing out that which does not agree with the dreams. Of course, that means toxic friends, family, ideas, notions, and otherwise.

But in all of this pushing, there is sometimes the risk of pushing out that which is important to us. Loved ones, friends, fun activities, hobbies, other pursuits, and the like. So how do we hold onto these things while also going BIG. In other words, how do we go big, AND go home. Because, truly, I think that is what we all want. Both. The happy and the happy. Out there - the big, small, crazy, quiet, whatever it might be - AND the calm at the end of the day, the comfort, the closeness, and the feeling right within ourselves. Well, how do we do that? I wish someone had told me. I wish I had an easier time at applying it to myself. But here, I'm going to talk it through for us all.  

1) First, dream AS BIG as you want. No, I mean it. REALLY BIG. Or small. Whatever your heart wants, write it down. Use your own notebook or one of the free downloadable PDF Righting Pages HERE. This is how you begin. This is the first step toward achieving it. Knowing it. No idea is too vast. I don't care who you are, where you come from, anything is possible. If we must modify, we do that later.

2) Write down who and what are most important to you. Again, anything goes. If it's your dog, write it down (then give your dog a hug). If it's your game system, write it. Hobbies, weird quirky habits, write them.

3) Third list - values. Why are these things (both dreams and things) important to you? Explore. Draw. Color. Doodle. Do you love love? Is nature truly important? What is your relaxation preference? Vigorous activity, getting out, or staying in? Why? Don't get caught up in the words. Just describe, if you can, why you like what you like and why you do the things you do, why they hold importance. There are no wrong answers.

4) Go back to list one. Choose one. Choose three. Whatever feels right. Then write what you can do for each of these things RIGHT NOW. Then write something you can do tomorrow. Then something for next week. We'll start there. But we can grow from this. Taking a dream to the next level is another HUGE lesson. This lesson is about how to not lose yourself in it. Now, DO!

5) Take list two. Do something from that list today if you can. Or over the weekend. Or whenever you can next. Make a habit of this.

6) Now look at list three and see if the things you did for 4 and 5 match with these values and fundamental “you’s.” In essence, the strategy here is bouncing from list one to list two, with an eye on list three. These are your fundamental beginnings.

List one is your goal. List two is you. List three makes them jive and reminds you why.

This is one way to keep sight of all of these important parts of your identity. I have, as I mentioned, had my own trouble in this endeavor. I have lost myself in relationships, in other people's problems, even in hope of getting out of wrong situations (aka desperation). But, thankfully, somehow, I have been in there all along, waiting for me to find me. Hopefully, this small strategy might help you retain you, even in the midst of finding your ultimate. And then there's the ultimate ultimate. Having them all come together. The YOU you want to be, strive to be, are meant to be, paired with your biggest dreams and goals. THAT is who I truly hope we will help you find.